In my last post, I brought a birthday cake to my caregivers support group on Friday to celebrate my birthday in advance as we only meet once in a month. I told them last month about this via our group chat. But I was not prepared to realise how expensive a simple cake price has risen, used to be $24+ but now it was $38.80! But I'm glad everyone like the cake.
On Saturday morning, I have 2 young foreign students from one of the universities visiting my Hubby and I under their school 'community module' with the local Elderly Befriender service provider. The young ladies will also visit us on a monthly basis and asked what do we have in mind or any special request? I thought about it and asked if they can buy a small slice of cake to just celebrate with me as well? I love their youthful energy when they came the other day as part of the first initiation of this program.
I'm so blessed they not only bought one but 2 slices of cakes for Hubby and me. We used the chocolate to sing a happy birthday song while Hubby helped to be the cameraman, and we chatted for an hour or so. Then they left after 12 noon. After that I send them the video and photos and thanked them for their kindness.
I let Hubby enjoyed the chocolate cake for his effort to help too. I kept the other fruit cake for later. My Elder Sis messaged me on Friday afternoon that she will like to visit me before my Monday's surgery too. As she need to attend church on Sunday, she usually will just pop over after her work on Sunday and be at my place around 2.45pm. It will be a short meet up too as I usually need to leave the house by 4.10pm to go for my dialysis session. But I told my dialysis escort manager about it and he said he can arrange the escort to come later so I can have more family time.
Honestly, I was feeling really tired to the point of zombie-like... because after the unforeseen reminder of my ex lover DOST (can see my last post on Advance Celebration) caused me unable to sleep or eat upon coming back from the caregivers' event. I thought I have slowly buried the memories in my history... I even left AFF for 4 months not blogging about him anymore to work on forgetting... but the non stop tears only tells me I still have unresolved pains hidden deep within. And whenever I cry, I will have no appetite to eat or even sleep a wink like I'm stuck in a trance. Really, the mention of his name triggered me somehow.
But Life still need to move on. I still have a part time community respite helper who will come for 4 hours doing Elderly Home care service, including showering my Hubby and help me with some basis tasks, plus once a week laundry service. She can also run errands to the 2 small provision shops below to help me get some daily breads or essentials. That's a great help as both Hubby and I can't walk far to get to the lift that is 2 staircases away to go anywhere. Living on a non lift access level is tough when we need wheelchairs for mobility outdoor.
After bidding the helper goodbye at 1pm, I'm so exhausted that do not feel like cooking for lunch but as Elder Sis was coming, I had to prepare as I promised her to make her favorite porridge with dishes. She loves prawns just like my Hubby, so I also stir fry 1kg of prawns for them. My body was crying out for rest, but I shouldered on listening to my Elder Sis's woes on her caregiving stress now that her husband is also not well. He has lose one eyesight while the other is less than 50% due to genetic issues.
I have been caring for my mentally ill Hubby so I know the signs of caregiver's stress in my sibling now. So I'm alway here for her when she needed someone to vent. Beside, she doesn't know how to cook and they have to rely on expensive catering meals or outside food that offered little value. I will always prepare her favourites (Tiger prawns/crabs/roasted duck, etc) when she's here for visitations. And let her bring some back when she leave for home.
After preparing the lunch from 1-2pm and setting up the Red room to receive my Sister, I still have to quickly shower, packed my dialysis stuff in a big bag (blanket, gloves, etc as the centre will be cold but I still bring a small hand fan for air circulation & a noise cancellation headset to sleep plus 2 cookies & a 200ml packet milk when I get hungry at the end of the session), then pushed out my wheelchair near to the gate for my escort to pick up later.
She came and after eating, she sang me a birthday song with the slice of fruit cake. Finally I ate the fruit cake as I didn't eat since coming back from the caregivers' event. In fact, I also skipped lunch on Friday as I drank a lot of water due to this sweltering heat in SG. Despite preparing a nice meal for Sister, I also barely touch the food. I was also keeping watch on my phone to see what time my escort will be coming as he tends to message me on the timing. He said he will come at 5pm.
So as I force myself to listen to Elder Sister's woes, my head was having a headache... but I kept quiet. I felt like my head wanna explode while I absorb in all the negative vibes... part of counseling process which I am used to. Then my escort messaged he will come later as the other patient he fetched was late as well. Immediately my Sister get annoyed as she wanted to go home to use the loo since her tummy don't feel good. That's normal as she is getting older too and either go into a food coma after eating or needed the loo. My home's loo isn't in the best shape nor does she wants to use my bedroom loo when my Hubby is resting in the room, so I let her leave first.
I then cleaned up the Red room and waited for my escort to come... my eyelids were barely able to keep open but I struggled on. Upon reaching my dialysis centre, even my nurses noticed my weight was much lesser than usual. Then I told them I ate only 2 pieces of cakes for these 2 days. Not wanting to let them worry, I just say it's good as I made a bet with the doctor to lose 2kg this month when he sees me again. Haha!
I just slept the moment they connected me to the dialysis machine till 9pm plus. Then feeling hungry, I ate the snack I brought. Still hungry, I ordered food delivery to home as I also know Hubby will like the extra supper. I came back to sharing the fish and chips with him. I only wanted the protein and hubby knows that, so he gave me one of the fish fillets while he finished the rest. I did ordered half a spring chicken with rice, but only managed to eat a small drumstick and 3-4 spoonfuls of rice and super full by then.
Checked in my blog and replied before going to catch up on my sleep again. It has been a very busy day and even now as I awake in the morning, I am still feeling fatigue. I made simple breakfast using the leftover porridge, just added hot water and then opened another canned preserved veggies with fish to eat. I still have to bring in the laundry to fold and other household chores to catch up. Hopefully can rest more later in the day as tomorrow is my surgery.
Wish me luck and a favourable success, with less pain if possible! Cheers!
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